Your energy levels aren’t just influenced by what or how you eat.

Your thoughts, emotions, environment, relationship and lifestyle are just as important.

From the many women I’ve spoken to about fatigue over the years, one of the most common energy drains is a lack of healthy boundaries in their life – with their partners, kids, clients, friends and families – and themselves.

So to keep your energy levels high, you need to protect your energy like it’s gold and consciously manage your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health (all of which are key to having high energy levels).

Creating healthy boundaries will protect you from people, places and situations that compromise all the above in some way.

Fill your own cup, and give from the overflow.

Have you heard of the idea of filling your own ‘cup’ first?

If not – here’s a summary.

Imagine a cup – with its contents representing your health and well-being, your energy, drive and gusto for life. 

Each of us gets our own cup – and we’re born with it being full. 

No one has domain or power over your cup other than you.

Your cup is either full of nourishment to keep you in top shape – or it’s being depleted. 

Things that nourish your cup are good nutrition, sleep, self-care, loving relationships, a good balance of support and growth, a vision and purpose, living in your highest values and all the things in life that light you up with joy. 

Depletion can happen when you’re not living how you want to – and you’re giving too much of yourself to others without having enough time to give yourself all the above. 

If you keep giving and giving and going and going – you’re going to have an empty cup before too long. 

Then, you’re walking around with an empty cup – feeling tired, depleted and like a black and white version of yourself. 

Everything feels like a struggle, and you’re frustrated with how your life feels and looks. 

It’s like we wait for someone else to come and fill our cups for us.

Yet the truth is – no one is going to fill that cup other than you.

So, take back your power to run your life as you wish (it’s your power and your life, after all!).

The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.

~ Alice Walker

Set healthy boundaries that nourish you and make sure your cup is full.

Then, once your cup is full – only give from the OVERFLOW.

This means that as soon as you start to feel depleted by things you’re doing – you need to check in with yourself and see what’s missing to keep your cup full. 

So setting boundaries and always being mindful of them, assessing them and setting new ones as life moves on is key (because obviously things change in life based on where you’re at in your relationships, family, business and health etc.). 

This way, you’ll have more than enough energy to do what’s important, and you’ll show up in your life, relationships and business as your fully expressed, healthy self.

And the positive ripple effect of you doing this is potentially limitless. 

Imagine you caring for yourself so you can show the best version of you to your loved ones or kids?

What kind of healthy boundaries will they create because you’ve inspired them to? 

The people around you who love you want you to be your best.

Those who don’t understand why you need to care for yourself first very likely have unhealthy boundaries themselves.

Setting boundaries is often where much resistance is met with women because they feel like it’s their duty to sacrifice themselves for the good of others. Especially for their kids, husband and family.

However, love shouldn’t mean self-sacrifice to the detriment of your health and well-being.

Love means being your best so you give your best to others – showing  them that caring for yourself is the best form of love to others and your self.

And healthy boundaries should be set from a place of love. 

And, drop the guilt for doing so!

There’s no room for guilt when you’re prioritising your own needs over others. It isn’t being selfish. It’s having self LOVE. 

Oh, and these boundaries need to be made with yourself and your own habits too 😉

You’re the only one in your life that’s EVER going to truly do things for your own good. 

No one is going to choose to stop listening or hanging out with that friend who is full of gossip and drama all the time.

Your kids aren’t going to tell you to stop cleaning their rooms and doing their laundry so you can spend more time relaxing or doing things you enjoy.

Your mum isn’t going to stop calling 5 times a day without you lovingly telling her that you’d like to just speak once to stay focused on what’s important to you.

Your husband or partner isn’t going to tell you to stop watching boring TV while mindless munching on the sofa, and go to bed early so you wake up feeling refreshed. 

That one client who chews up so much of your time isn’t going to tell you to have clear boundaries with her so she doesn’t drain your time. 

If you’re feeling queasy about the thought of upsetting the apple cart with a few people, I empathise and understand!

I’m a former people pleaser, ‘fixer’ and scaredy cat when it came to confrontation (sometimes I still am, though I’ll say what I need to even if I’m shaking). 

But it’s ok.

You don’t have to make all the changes all at once.

Start with one and go from there. 

So right now, grab a paper and pen, and write out all the people, places and situations that have been draining you (including the things you’ve been doing too, like staying up late).

Next, pick the one that’d make the most difference to your energy and well-being.

Then answer these Qs:

How does it affect your energy, happiness and the goals you want to achieve in your health and life?

What boundary will you set for your self-preservation?
E.g. backing out of a commitment; limiting exposure to a person; deciding to no longer be drawn into a friend’s drama.

How will you achieve setting that boundary?
E.g. Schedule time to prepare for and call the person to decline the commitment; deciding to only see or speak to that person in a group setting or not at all etc.

If you’re needing to break a commitment with someone, use this script as a base:

“You know I’ve been feeling quite tired for a while now, and have realised that I need to turn the focus back to myself to care for my health and get my energy and life back. So I will no longer be able to do X.”

Then, you can offer up other solutions for them, or help them find a solution together and say something like:

“Of course I love you and want to make sure I can help you find a solution, so why don’t we brainstorm some ideas?”

If you have some suggestions you can put them forward. 

Remember, some people will be resistant to the change – especially if they’ve been so used to you being their helper. So expect you might get some, and stand your ground. Practising or visualising the scenario before having this conversation will help. 

So, what one thing will you no longer tolerate to free up some of your energy and time?

And if you want to dive deeper into clearing out that which drains you, check this article out.

Remember, YOU are the master of your energy and your life.

Setting healthy boundaries is part of the process of getting you BACK in the driver’s seat of your health and your life and focusing on your number one asset – YOU 😉

Melissa xx

ABOUT MELISSA

ABOUT MELISSA

Melissa is a naturopathic nutritionist, coach and speaker who helps exhausted businesswomen reclaim their energy to maximise their effectiveness and success in business and life.

Her unique approach combines naturopathy, nutrition, positive psychology and lifestyle strategies to nourish and energise women from cell to soul. 

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